Hello ladies welcome back, you ladies are truly the reason I keep on posting. Your encouragement and testimonies are amazing. I’m so glad it blesses you the way it does. The enemy tries to attack me and discourage me from doing this blog. But when I hear how much it has touched and blessed you. It helps me to make the devil out of a liar. So he is under my feet and I will keep pushing and keep posting. Amen! Amen! So on today’s post I want to talk about forgiving your past. Now we all heard about forgiveness all our lives, and the quotes that come along with them. Which these quotes are all amazing, but it can kind of become redundant. But how can we wrap our minds around truly forgiving someone? We’ll here is what helped me. 

First, who are we forgiving? We’ll I’m challenging you to dig deep and pull out some old baggage you had buried in the closet for sometime now. And who I want you to forgive, is every single “man” who has ever hurt you. Uh oh him? Yes him! If you say you have already, I still want you to continue reading. Next is, I also want you to forgive your father. The first man in your life. I’m going to try my best not to get too deep. But something that seems so very hard to do can become very easy if you changed your perspective. 

People make decisions and choices based on decisions and choices that were made for them. What I mean is there is a reason to why that man handled your heart the way he did. It’s because he just didn’t know any better. Something and someone shaped that man to become who he is today. This plays a major role in his treatment to you. Some people can only love based on their measurement of love, or what they know love to be. It’s crazy but, so very true. Believe it or not but both men & women identify love with rejection. Let me explain. Did you ever want something or someone even more because you know you couldn’t have it? Wanting someone to love you, that has rejected you? That’s identifying Love with rejection. Deep? I think so. 

Think about it why would we want someone who doesn’t want us? Isn’t our value worth more than that? Well let me explain where this can possibly stem from. I hate to say it, but it stems from the kind of love you received from your father. Your earthly father. We as woman subconsciously size up the love we feel we deserve by the measurement of love we received by our natural father. I promised I wasn’t going go too deep, but it’s true!!! This is really the reason why we made the decisions we made in those relationships. With  guys who broke our fragile, semi already partly broken hearts. 

Quick Transparency: (No Judgement Zone) My father that is very active in my life he also was and still is a Pastor. The people outside looking in would think we was the “Huxtables” or something. That was far from the truth. We weren’t a perfect family. My dad was there for me financially & physically but emotionally there was a void. God had to show me that ugly truth, I would have never believed before. I thought I had the best dad in the world, which I still do. I was 27 years old, when God showed that to me. I was basically a grown women. He also said he wanted to heal me, and fill that void with his everlasting love. Then later on it dawned on me, and I understood why I settled so many times in past relationships. 

This may not be your testimony, but your father fell short in some area in your life, if he was present in your life or not. We all fall short. No man on this God green earth is perfect, and no man on this God green earth can give you the type of love and fulfillment you need, But God. He wants to heal you if you ask him. And he wants you to forgive them, forgive them, forgive them forgive them. Forgive your  Dad to every single man who has ever broken your heart. Even that kindergarten boyfriend, who ran off to play Sandbox with the girl with the pink ribbons in her hair. You laughing but that’s for somebody. Jesus said while being persecuted on the cross, while his heart was broken and weak. Opened cut wounds all over his holy body. Spit from a strangers mouth probably dried up on his face. Blood dripping, his body in tremendous pain. I wasn’t there but these are some of the thing I can imagine. He told the man that could end everyone’s life by the snap of his finger. He told God his father the “All Mighty One” who can take revenge right then and there. He said, 

 “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” 

Luke‬ ‭23:34‬ ‭ESV‬‬

If Jesus can do it we can do it too. No matter how heavy the pain is from our past. We can have the mindset of Jesus on the cross that day. I forgive them because they know not what they do. These men truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, truly, know not what they do. We don’t know the battle and the struggles and strong holds and the demons they fight everyday due to their father or their past hurt. They may not have any clue that their even battling anything. But they are. The scripture says,

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Ephesians‬ ‭6:12‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Is not a flesh battle its a spiritual battle that they have no idea, that’s taking place. Generational curses passed down, from his father, then his father so on and so forth. We must forgive them and ask God to open their eyes or to even heal their broken hearts and pray one day they will come to know Jesus for themselves. After that take on the spirit of forgiving them because they didn’t know any better. They truly had or maybe still have no clue. That should bring on a burden to pray for our men of this generation because they are under attack. In a battle they are not aware of. 

I truly pray this gives you some type of freedom in some way. Or if it even brings you some kind of understanding. This may help you to open up your heart and to love again. I’m sorry but I don’t think God is gonna send you a man he worked hard on, to cultivate, impart into and build up. For you to tear him down because you haven’t decided to let things go and receive healing from your past heart breaks. These men that God are preparing are just as fragile as you. So you must handle with care. Open up your heart and receive God’s love for you and let him become a father to you and mend your broken heart. Learn about God’s love, and how much he loves you. You can look to God to see a true example of a father because man will fall short every time. If he’s a man of God or not he will still fall short. 

God wants you to know his heart. He wants you to measure the love you deserve by the love he gives and that’s unmeasurable. So imagine the type of man he has for you. One that will love you unconditionally.  I challenge you to forgive them based on the understanding you received in this post. I also challenge you to study the Love of God. Research scriptures that talks about love, purchase books etc. One book I would recommend is the “Baptism of Love” by Leif Hetland I will put the link below. It’s an awesome book that will help you understand the fathers love.  I desire to see you patiently waiting on God to send his best for you. Please follow this blog, like it, share it and comment. The more you do these things the more my blog gets seen and read and someone else may need this. I Love you ladies and have an amazing week. 💕


Here is the Link to the book:

Baptism Of Love By Leif Hartland


16 thoughts on “Forgive Your Past

  1. Yes, my father disappointed me and so did many others too. I am currently walking in forgiveness, that burden is too heavy to carry. Some men really don’t know how to truly love you the way you’re supposed to be loved and it’s sad.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a very good post. I was pretty promiscuous in high school and my early adult years. It wasn’t until I got older and gave my heart to Jesus and really started unpacking some of that did I realize that I only expected men to fill my physical needs, not my emotional ones–because though my dad was a great provider, he was absent emotionally. Great post, and something that all women should think about.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I truly believe that until we’ve accepted God’s forgiveness ourselves, we don’t really know how to offer it to anyone, much less those who’ve hurt us the most. I’m glad you were able to recognize that even pastor dads are just humans, maybe trying to do too much, and they fall short. I’m a daughter of a spiritual leader as well, and our expectations for them often set them up to fail. Thank goodness for God’s grace for us all.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The idea that women expect a man to be perfect is so universal, because our hearts were made to worship and adore our creator God, yet we look to men to fulfill this, and our expectations cannot be met. It’s a hard lesson to learn, lucky our God is waiting with open arms and Grace for us. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You’ve touched my heart tonight. Thank you for the gentle reminder to forgive. I’m almost certain my dad didn’t know that I wanted to be loved deeper, or he didn’t know how to love me, but it wasn’t on purpose. Forgive him, Father, for he doesn’t know what he did.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Thanks for sharing your heart on this very relevant subject to the Church today. I think it’s human nature for us to seek fullfillment in our spouse. It’s so important to remember that only God can satisfy! Keep up the great work! Love what I’ve read so far of your site.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Great post. Forgiveness is so important and many times we don’t even realize we have un-forgiveness in our hearts. Thank you for being honest and open about this topic. Very good read!

    Liked by 1 person

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